So long Spokane

Well I will be up at 4 in the morning to prepare for our trip home. We will need to be at the airport around 5, and our flight is at 6:15. Our layover will be in Denver (yay!) and then to the East coast (double yay!!!!) We will be landing around 6:30pm eastern time, which will be 3:30 our time. No jet lag for us! Until we come back here..lol.

We are coming back on June 2nd..so I should post again sometime around then :-)

Spring brings new things

Like my rhyme? Lol. Well the new things that spring brings today are....

baby birds!! Yes this is an update on my grill fiasco. The little blue eggs I found in the grill while hubby was away have officially hatched. I knew this when hub & I heard little chirps coming from our backyard! They are so very sweet. I also learned that if I go outside and make a little noise, it will get them all started up, because they think it's their mommy bringing them food. One of hubbys friends was over and I told him to open up the grill, because I was too scared too. I get creeped out kind of easily. So he did and I managed to snap a picture!

If you look closely, between all the feathers and brush, there are little yellow beaks..which means little tiny baby birdies! They were very cute chirping and getting all excited for food when we opened it. I am pretty sure they can't see yet, so they are clueless. Lol. Too sweet :)

The weather here has been great lately. What I was told about waiting until the "third week of May" was pretty much true, because our weather is becoming much more Spring-like and enjoyable. You can't really help but be in a great mood when you wake up in Spokane to sun and a warm day. Hubby and I have been getting ready for our trip home- which is in TWO days!! Unreal. I have been cleaning the house, we have gone shopping to make sure the animals have enough food, but we still have most of our packing to do. Procrastinators..exactly what we are. I can't wait to be home and I hope to get so many pictures, but I have a thing with getting caught in the moment and completely not worrying about taking pictures. Blah.

My hair is even lighter blonde now than it was before and I like it! New hair always takes some getting used to..but its a nice change :) It goes with my tan pretty well...if I do say so myself! Oh yeah, today hubby also mowed our backyard which was becoming very jungle like. It was definitely much needed and Duke was pretty confused when we let him out afterwards! Lol

Hubby at hard work..lol. So glad I just ate and watched.

So excited for May 25th @ 6:30am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

Whirlwind

That is exactly what my emotions have been lately. I don't mean that in a negative way, or even a positive one. I haven't been crying or excessively happy. I guess I consider them a whirlwind because I am very confused. Sometimes life gets very confusing. That is in fact what makes life what it is. Uncertainty and confusion. Especially when you are faced with decisions that you need to make. Weighing the pros and cons of important decisions gets a little exhausting and at times can leave you just stressed out. I won't go into too much detail, though it isn't anything I am trying to hide, timing just isn't right right now. I will say that no matter how many responsibilities I have picked up in life, no matter how many huge steps I have taken, at the end of the day I am still an 18 year old girl. I still have all the same desires to do things that my friends do at home. Independence is still new and as each day passes I only gain more. It is a beautiful thing to me. I am only 18, but sometimes feel like I am just so much older. Older because of the insight I have on certain things, and older because of the lifestyle I have chosen.

Which brings me to a major question in my life, which is whether or not it is all right for me. I love it here in Spokane, I love Fairchild, I love the friends I have made here, I love my little home, I love my animals, I love myself, and most important I love my husband, the man who asked for my hand in marriage and who I happily gave it to. But when you roll it all up into one, it's a heavy load, and sometimes I feel like it is weighing me down. I know it is probably a very normal feeling and I know the choices I have made in my life have ended me up here, but sometimes I just wish I could have taken on everything that I have at a later time in my life. A time when I am more ready to dedicate myself to things other than finding myself and the freedom you want while you are young. I don't regret any of the decisions I have made. I have said it before and will say it again. Moving here was one of the best things I have ever done. And when it all comes down to it, this is where I will stay. I moved my life out here, settled in, and I am not leaving it behind. I am happy here.

With this being said, maybe I am just going through a confusing time, but I feel like this confusion will only grow with time. Sometimes you are given everything in life, and everything you are given makes you incredibly happy but somehow there is something inside you that reaches out for something more. Something different. Something that only you can give to yourself, because it is yourself. This may not make a lot of sense to any readers, but it really truly does to me. If I could go into detail, and spill out my life story in a blog, I think it would make a lot more sense. But for now, I will just say that I am a very strong spirited person. I love life and I see beauty in so many different things. I love to explore the world and I love new places and people. I love being young and moving through life, learning and growing. I guess the thing I am reaching out for, is to experience all of this by myself. I have been told that I need to do "soul searching" and really think about everything I feel right now. But I think that the soul searching I really need to do, I want to do alone. Maybe things will change, maybe they will not. Regardless I will be happy and follow my heart because it is what I have always done.

Sunshine and mishaps

The past week we have had amazing weather. Not cold, not hot, just warm and breezy. Everyone has been loving it I'm sure, because I know I have. I spoke a little too soon on hoping that nothing else stupid happens while hubs is away, because it did. Being so pretty outside, yesterday I went to open our grill in the backyard, maybe even use it? I don't know. I had never opened it before and I guess I was just curious. So, low and behold, I opened it. Before I could even get it all the way open, a BIRD flies out at full speed. I swear I almost had a heart attack, then I almost threw up when I caught a glimpse inside of a HUGE nest (maybe I shouldn't even call it a nest) and a bunch of little blue eggs. I'm sorry, but I thought it was really gross and disgusting. I guess I am not a bird person. And definitely not a fan of using any grill that has been the nesting home to birds, eggs and gross little babies.

I'm definitely not one to ruin a bird's nest, in a way it's cute I guess. I just wish mama bird picked a different spot. Hopefully after those babies have hatched and left...so will she. But I have a feeling there is going to be a battle between who owns the grill...and it's not going to be her. What else are we supposed to do? In return I might put some bird houses up..lol. I won't mess with her little family though, because as yucky as it is, that would just be mean. We don't need to use the grill that bad...lol. I think we will probably just buy a new one because I definitely don't look at it as anywhere to cook food anymore. Ha. So yes...yet another thing that will have to wait to be dealt with until hubs is home. Until then, I am not going anywhere near it and probably will never open it again.

As for this beautiful Sunday I am going to go enjoy it! Hope everyone else does the same :)

Rough week

Can I just start out by saying that it is much easier to start an argument when you are seperated from your significant other? I am guilty. I think it all stems from resentment that you are alone and frustration because you just want them back. It's hard being a girl..sometimes you just want to bitch about something..anything. So that sums up a little of why I have had a rough week. On top of that one of my headlights decided to go out while hubs is gone and I spent an hour taking my car apart to get to the lighting compartment under my hood. I finally got the new bulb installed and everything put back together..and it just won't turn on. After making my fingers bleed, getting dirt all over me, trying so damn hard to fix it, and thinking about how much easier it would be if hubby were home..I just gave up.

Instead I decided to plant the pansies that I got for free from the housing center on base. They gave away a free flat of flowers for Mother's Day..and even though I am not a mother I got some. :) It took me a little while to get all 12 planted, because I am a freak when it comes to seeing worms (they absolutely disgust me) and every single time I dug one up I squealed and took a little break. They really just freak me out..

Wednesday night I went to a friend's house to spend the night. It was just a girl's night at her apartment and I only had 2 strawberry margaritas but it wasn't long before they had us sleeping like babies. I was in my car at 7 the next morning though, on my way home to feed my babies. Such a good mama. I wouldn't drive myself home that early if I was hungry, but I will do it for them :) I haven't been doing anything else really special besides seeing friends here and there, tanning and the normal cleaning routine at home. Duke has been getting nightly walks regularly and he's a happy camper when he gets to see his furball friends. I have 7 days til hubby is home..and 12 until hubby and I are "home." Yay. Time is going by much faster than expected. Hopefully something as little as a head light or worm won't stress me out again until then...I'm such a girl. :)

In a nutshell

I want my hubby home now!! I was looking through old pictures of us on my desktop and it is crazy how far we have come. I have so many beautiful, wonderful memories with him!!! Here is one of my favorites from the night he proposed :)

Ugh. 11 more days. Which is nothing but even when he is gone for a day I miss the crap out of him!!

Anyway, my package ended at the salon that I was tanning at. Now I am tanning at my friend's salon and it is so much nicer and I am seeing results way quicker. I'm glad I made the switch because all the more tan I'll be before we go home! I bet I sound like a tanoholic the last month or so. Because I am on a mission! I know half of South Carolina is already tan due to laying out by pools or going to the lake...LUCKY!

So glad hubby gets 3 full days off of work when he gets home! And then to SC we gooo!!!!!

WOOP!!

Deployment thoughts

I don't read many blogs, but there are a few that I like to keep up with. One in particular is incredibly touching to me. It belongs to a widow, former military wife, who lost her husband in Afghanistan. Not once have I read a post without crying, because when I read it I truly feel for her. I cannot imagine how it would feel to lose my husband, to never hear his voice again, never feel his arms around me, to know that he was never coming home. When I picture myself in her position my heart aches for her. My heart aches at the thought of losing the reason I am so happy and excited for my future. Because my future is my husband. Everything I envision in my life, I envision with him beside me. My life would become a deep emptiness and I would find no purpose in anything at all. Could a hole like that ever be filled?

So many people complain about deployments. Complain about the military. That their husband has been gone too long, or has left too often. About this, that, and whatever. I understand a deployment is a stressful thing and that it is not a fun time. We have not been through our first deployment yet but I am not dreading it, nor am I looking forward to it, but I am ready to deal with it when the time comes. It is a fact of life in the military and it is not something you can change no matter how much you bitch, moan and complain about it. So why emotionally beat yourself up over it? or your husband? The point I am getting at is, reading Katie's blog really makes you remember that life is fragile. Life is not promised for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. It may sound cliche, but to so many widows like her, it is real. Her husband is never coming home. That is something I would never wish upon anyone. I know that when my time does come along, of course I will be sad, and of course I will get lonely..but I will always remember to be so incredibly thankful that I still have my husband, because of her and her story. God knows, she would give anything to hear her husband's voice or see his face on Skype one time a day, even if that was all she could have the rest of her life. Yet that is not good enough for so many people. But that is why I will be thankful, for every day that I may have to come home to an empty house-but a day that I still have him.

For anyone interested, you can visit her blog at http://www.katieandchadwade.blogspot.com/