Deployment thoughts

I don't read many blogs, but there are a few that I like to keep up with. One in particular is incredibly touching to me. It belongs to a widow, former military wife, who lost her husband in Afghanistan. Not once have I read a post without crying, because when I read it I truly feel for her. I cannot imagine how it would feel to lose my husband, to never hear his voice again, never feel his arms around me, to know that he was never coming home. When I picture myself in her position my heart aches for her. My heart aches at the thought of losing the reason I am so happy and excited for my future. Because my future is my husband. Everything I envision in my life, I envision with him beside me. My life would become a deep emptiness and I would find no purpose in anything at all. Could a hole like that ever be filled?

So many people complain about deployments. Complain about the military. That their husband has been gone too long, or has left too often. About this, that, and whatever. I understand a deployment is a stressful thing and that it is not a fun time. We have not been through our first deployment yet but I am not dreading it, nor am I looking forward to it, but I am ready to deal with it when the time comes. It is a fact of life in the military and it is not something you can change no matter how much you bitch, moan and complain about it. So why emotionally beat yourself up over it? or your husband? The point I am getting at is, reading Katie's blog really makes you remember that life is fragile. Life is not promised for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. It may sound cliche, but to so many widows like her, it is real. Her husband is never coming home. That is something I would never wish upon anyone. I know that when my time does come along, of course I will be sad, and of course I will get lonely..but I will always remember to be so incredibly thankful that I still have my husband, because of her and her story. God knows, she would give anything to hear her husband's voice or see his face on Skype one time a day, even if that was all she could have the rest of her life. Yet that is not good enough for so many people. But that is why I will be thankful, for every day that I may have to come home to an empty house-but a day that I still have him.

For anyone interested, you can visit her blog at http://www.katieandchadwade.blogspot.com/