Hi hater.

Recently I had a girl talk with some of my new friends here and we all came to the same conclusions on all of these topics and the more I thought about it the more I wanted to put it into words. So I am going to share but this is definitely going to be a short novel/vent session/lecture ...so now I'm gonna preach

Judgment in life is inevitable. People will judge you no matter what, it is human nature and completely natural. However it becomes unnatural to take your own personal judgments and turn them into hate, or act like you are above someone because of them. It isn't normal to take *precious* time out of your day to speak badly of other people, who have given you absolutely no reason to. Sadly for some people it is normal and their time is obviously not so precious or it would be focused on something else. Anyway, that's not the point. What we decided is that the cattiness of some people or better yet, girls, comes from one thing. It's obvious and you may already know what this thing is. These people are unhappy because something in their life isn't meeting their standards. Some things in their life they are just not HAPPY with. So when they come across someone who has things that they lack, or someone who is "better off " than them, they get the urge to try and use their words to bring someone down. Or even to make themselves look just a little better, which in turn makes themself feel better. It's all one thing: jealousy. Yep you guessed it.

Jealousy is also a natural thing, don't get me wrong. It is normal to see someone with a nicer car than yours and say, "man I would really like to have that car," and be a little jealous that yours just doesn't really compare. Anyone who says that jealousy is not a normal human trait, is probably the most jealous of them all. But there are certain levels of it, just as there is with anything else in life. There is the kind of jealousy that is so consuming that people are not just competitive and envious of people who they don't know, they are competitive & envious of the people closest to them. The people they probably call their "friends." News flash: no one who is so incredibly jealous of your happiness, belongings or YOU is NOT a friend and their jealousy will bring you down, maybe not today, but probably tomorrow.

Then, there are some people who are happy when other people are. And happy for the fortunate things in someone else's life, EVEN when things may not be going great for themself. There are people who don't look at others and immediatly feel envious, and the need to open their mouths with negativity. These are the people I recently met and have in my life; the kind of people everyone needs in their life. The people who are truly content and happy with not only their life, but themselves. They will never try to bring you down but they will always be there to push you up. They are not toxic, they are not competitive, they are not jealous.

I moved here with an open heart. I moved here to be with the man I love and hopefully start a new and beautiful life. I moved here with mixed emotions, being so far away from everything I've known, but most of all I moved here with hope. Hope for my marriage, hope for my success and hope for real, true friends. Friends who make me feel like I am home again. Unfortunately, wherever you go in life you will run into the kind of people who are only a "friend" while you are around. People who are bitter and insecure. People I can only thank God that I am not :-) And I can say from experience that all they will do is get in the way of the people that you need. The one's who are really there for you, to your face and while you are away. 

I have heard it ALL since I have been here, but the funny thing is only from one or two people, who couldn't even say it to my face. 1) I'm immature? Because I am 18 and took a huge life step that most take in  their twenties, or thirties? I am fresh out of high school and have every right to be any bit of immature I want, but I am so incredibly far from it. An 18 year old newlywed is not going to know all the answers to everything but please refer me to one who does. Who is not only living on their own for the first time but over 2,500 miles from home and recently married, as if marriage isn't enough in itself to get used to and learn from. I am more mature than some people could ever think to recognize because they wouldn't know mature if it slapped them in their jealous, insecure face.

2) I'm superficial? Because I take pride in my appearance? HA. Because I didn't get the pajama memo and wore real clothes today? HA. Because I love being a woman and every aspect of it? HA. Kiss my ass, the one that is apparently too superficial for you and your sweat pant addiction. I have no problem with looking like a BUM, I walk out of the house all the time with no make up on or nothing done to my hair. Everyday? No. The bottom line is there are a million beautiful women in this world and I can only imagine the unhappiness that would come from not appreciating that and calling every woman who takes pride in her appearance "superficial." My advice... GET OVER IT! You only make yourself look worse.

People say "only God can judge." No, everyone can. And everyone does. But the real meaning behind that quote is that only God's judgment matters. It does not stem from spite, from jealousy or from anger. Instead, it is based on a person's character, who they really are inside; not out. The things that really count and the things that are true. Go ahead and judge a book by it's cover, in the end we all do. But taking the time to open the book and look at the pages is what really counts. What does immature, superficial or any other judgment really mean if you can say you are a good person? A good friend? If you can say that you live your life in the best way possible, without trying to bring other people down?

The answer is that none of it means absolutely anything. If you know who you are, that's all that matters. Because eventually, other people will see who you are too. This goes for not only myself but anyone and everyone. I have nothing to prove to anyone however, yes, this post was to get many points across and put a prior conversation into words because I felt like it had a lot of meaning and I know I was very supported. So, with that being said,
bye hater.